Script and notes for 10-10-666
By Mike Selby and Matthew A. Woodruff

featured on Equal Opportunity Offenders

Cast
Announcer: Mike Selby
Bob: Matthew A. Woodruff
Damien: Mike Selby

Announcer: Global-Hella-Communications is proud to present a brand new service to satisfy all of our customers most carnal desires. I am of course talking about 10-10-666. 10-10-666 is the newest and best way to save on long distance phone calls. In fact, the savings are so big they're just unholy. But how is 10-10-666 different from other dial-a-rounds? Well, unlike other services there are no hidden fees or costs associated with 10-10-666. Nope. In fact, with 10-10-666 you can have unlimited long distance for just a one time price of your soul. Yes, that's right, unlimited. Don't believe me? Well, here's what one of our many satisfied customers has to say about 10-10-666:

Bob: Hi! I'm Bob from Ames, Iowa. I started using 10-10-666 five years ago to keep in touch with a hooker I met in Tokyo when I was in the service. I just love the way she says: "Me so horny. Me love you long time." Well, I've been calling her every day for hours at a time and I never had to pay a single penny.

(knocking)

Bob: Who is it?

Damien: Uh yes, this is Damien from Global-Hella-Communications. We're here to collect on your phone bill.

(horrific scream)

Announcer: Oh sure, our collection practices may seem a bit extreme but no one can beat our low, low price. So use 10-10-666. After all, you're probably going to go to hell anyhow, so you might as well save a few bucks on phone calls before you get there.

This was the third bit done by Attention Deficit Theater. We recorded it back in Sept '99 when those stupid 10-10 ads were all over the place. You still see plenty of those ads on TV today, so I guess this parody never really went out of date.

We had to re-record 10-10-666 in early 2001 because of some problems with the original MP3 file. In the early days of Monday Night Metal Mayhem, all of our bits were recorded onto Digicart and then archived in MP3 form later. Digicart occasionally had some RF interference problems, and so when I archived it to MP3 some of the radio broadcast from WUEV had leaked into the recording. In early 2003, we found an audiotape copy of our original broadcast of the bit, so now purchasers of Equal Opportunity Offenders can hear both the new and original versions of the bit.

Sarah provided the scream in the original bit. She was hanging around when we recorded it and claimed that the scream Matt had recorded was "pathetic." She decided that she was going to provide a much better scream for us. It took a couple takes to record her scream... because the first few times she did it she floored all the needles on the equipment. We later reused her scream in the Satan's Answering Machine Message bit.