Script and notes for Cunnilingus Man vs. Goddesszilla
By Mike Selby

featured on Kittie Porn

Cast
Poorly Dubbed Guy #1: Mike Selby
Poorly Dubbed Guy #2: Brad Hagman
Super Wasted Man: Mike Selby
Cunnilingus Man: Mike Selby
Goddesszilla: Brad Hagman

(sounds of Goddesszilla destroying Tokyo)

Poorly Dubbed Guy #1: We must do something or else Goddesszilla will destroy all of Tokyo!

Poorly Dubbed Guy #2: If only we could find a superhero to battle this giant monster.

(Super Wasted Man Answering Machine Message)

(slams phone down)

Poorly Dubbed Guy #1: Crap! All of the superheroes are out to lunch!

Poorly Dubbed Guy #2: What are we to do? Tokyo is doomed!

(sound of Cunnilingus Man breaking through wall)

Cunnilingus Man: Fear not, my lady, for it is I, Cunnilingus Man! (pauses for a moment) Hey! Wait a second. Where are the chicks? Ah Shit! I got the wrong fucking address again. Alright, that's the last time I ask for directions from a street mime.

Poorly Dubbed Guy #2: Thank God you are here Cunnilingus Man! You do us great honor by saving Tokyo from the monster Goddesszilla.

Cunnilingus Man: Goddesszilla? You mean that giant monster yout there that's destroying all the buildings and stuff? Uh... you know, I just remembered something... I have some errands I need to run.

Poorly Dubbed Guy #1: We are so grateful that you have come to save us in our hour of need.

Cunnilingus Man: Huh uh! No way man! I don't date outside my species.

Poorly Dubbed Guy #2: We can not thank you enough for daring to take on this dangerous mission.

Cunnilingus Man: Are you even listening to me? There's no way in hell I'm going up against that monster! Have you seen that thing?! It's huge!

Poorly Dubbed Guy #1: ...and once you are victorious against the evil Goddesszilla many large breasted women will be thanking you personally... very personally.

Cunnilingus Man: Well, now that you put it that way... I see that I must do it! Up, up and away lickity split!
(zips off)

Poorly Dubbed Guy #2: So do you think he really has a chance against Goddesszilla?

Poorly Dubbed Guy #1: No, we're completely fucked.

Poorly Dubbed Guy #2: I thought so.

(sounds of Goddesszilla destroying Tokyo)

Cunnilingus Man: Boy! She looks really pissed! I hope my tounge of might can do the trick. Well, here it goes.

Goddesszilla: (continuing destruction.... suddenly stops... monster roars suddenly turn into roars of pleasure)

Cunnilingus Man: Oh Man! That was really nasty!

Goddesszilla: *sqauck grunt squack grunt grunt*

Cunnilingus Man: What? You want my phone number? Er... ummm... you know, I don't think I have it with me.

Goddesszilla: *squack grunt grunt squeek*

Cunnilingus Man: Uh... no, I think I'm busy this weekend.

Goddesszilla: *grunt squack*

Cunnilingus Man: No, next weekend isn't good either. Ummm... listen, I gotta go.

(cunnilingus man quickly zips off)

Narrator: ...And that is how Cunnilingus Man managed to save Tokyo from the monster Goddesszilla. Unfortunately, for Cunnilingus Man the story is far from over.

(phone rings)

Cunnilingus Man: Hello.

Goddesszilla: *grunt squack grunt grunt*

Cunnilingus Man: Stop calling me!

Goddesszilla: *grunt squack*

Cunnilingus Man: No! No! For the last time, I'm not interested in you! Why can't you just leave me alone?!

The Super Wasted Man answering machine message was improvised during recording. Originally, the answering machine message for a character called Wonder Bra Woman. However, I dropped her character from the script when I found out Bob & Tom had a character by the same name in one of their Shirtless Girl bits.