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| Behind the Bits >> Cunnilingus Man vs. the Snooty Waiter |
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Cunnilingus Man vs. The Snooty Waiter
Cast
(Scene: Expensive restaurant. VIVIAN is sitting at a table with REALLY BORING GUY. REALLY BORING GUY is droning on about something incredibly dull.) VIVIAN: (interior monologue) Oh man, this is the worst blind date I've ever had. I can't believe how incredibly boring this guy is. He just won't stop yammering on and on. Where the hell did he get the idea that bat dung would make such an excellent topic for a dinner conversation? (pause) Is that a piece of broccoli stuck between his teeth? Ugh. I sure wish Cunnilingus Man was here to whisk me away. (sfx: breaking though wall) CUNNILINGUS MAN: Fear not, my lady, for I shall have your problem licked soon enough. SNOOTY WAITER: Dear God, sir! Do you realize what kind of damage you've caused? Why can't you just use the door like a normal person? CUNNILINGUS MAN: Oh, sorry. I hadn't thought about that. You see, breaking through walls is kinda my trademark. SNOOTY WAITER: What the devil is that? CUNNILINGUS MAN: What? SNOOTY WAITER: That ridiculous outfit you're wearing. I'm sorry, but we have a dress code here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. CUNNILINGUS MAN: but... but that lady over there desperately needs my help! SNOOTY WAITER: I'm sorry, but we can't just allow any superhero who claims to be on an important mission to come waltzing in here. Now, I must insist that you vacate the premises immediately. CUNNILINGUS MAN: You win this round, Snooty Waiter, but you haven't seen the last of me. ANNOUNCER: Be sure to tune in next week, when once again Cunnilingus Man faces off against the Snooty Waiter. SNOOTY WAITER: Excuse me, sir, but do you have a reservation? CUNNILINGUS MAN: Drat! Foiled again!
For those of you who have been wondering what Really Boring Guy is actually saying in the background during those interior monologue parts, here's an mp3 of it: bat poop dialogue.
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