Matthew A. Woodruff

Reverend Psycho Matthias is an exercise in extroverted overcompensation for the otherwise shy and timid Matthew A. Woodruff. Every writer has a muse...and Psycho is the muse who inspires Syph to write the stuff that sets ADT apart...far apart...from its ass-kissing competition...or is it due to Psycho's gastrointestinal problems from Syph's cooking?...no one knows for sure. Psycho's hobbies are sleep, masturbation, offending people, and anything promoting self-destructive hedonism...not to mention heavy metal guitar. Psycho aspires to be the next Jerry Springer and Howard Stern...but he may have to settle for the next Chick McGhee. He also wants to master the art of making fart noises with his hands. It's good to have goals...but if his life hits rock bottom, he'll probably convince himself that he is the "real" Chris Jericho and kill the "imposter" at a wrestling event in Wisconsin, just so he can have guaranteed room and board for the rest of his life...in one of the Dairy State's finest correctional facilities.

In the meantime, he will continue to worship at the throne of George Carlin and Andy Kaufman everytime he kneels at the toilet...performing the usual rounds of chemically-induced purging.

You are 70% evil! [?] Hey, you're pretty damn evil. You've been out partying way more than once, and you're quite the little devil, but I guess you've still got some good in you. Maybe only to family...

You can visit Psycho's Personal Bitch and Purge Forum at: