Feburary 23, 2003

Zod's Job Interview
By Mike Selby

featured on Kittie Porn

Cast
Interviewer: Matthew A. Woodruff
Zod: Mike Selby

Interviewer: Well, let's take a look at your application here. Now it says here that your name is Zod. Is that your full name?

Zod: There are those that call me Zod the All Powerful. Still others refer to me as Zod the Magnificent. I am also known as Zod the Terrible and Zod the Impaler. In high school my nickname was Dumbass. Stupid, puny mortals! They laughed at the Great Zod. They laughed! But soon they shall rue they day they messed with the Mighty Zod.

Interviewer: Okay, Mr. Zod, why is it that you decided to apply for a job here?

Zod: It is Zod's intention to rise though the ranks until at last he is made Corporate Dictator of this pitiful human capitalist empire. It's then that Zod shall use it's vast economic resources to construct an massive army capable of taking over the entire world... thereby allowing the Great Zod to become supreme master of all mankind.

Interviewer: That's good. We like employees with ambition. Now, on the application you failed to indicate your date of birth.

Zod: That is because the All Powerful Zod has existed since before the dawn of time.

Interviewer: Ah, yes. That would explain it. Hmmm. Under work experience you've listed that you've been the supreme ruler of a small galaxy for the past 5,000 years.

Zod: Yes, Galaxy XR171. Perhaps you've heard of it?

Interviewer: Uh... no. Got any references?

Zod: There are none who would not tremble before the awesome and horrifying power of Zod the Impaler.

Interviewer: Uh huh. Hmmm. This is interesting. Under special skills you put: "all powerful being of supreme might."

Zod: Yes, there is nothing that the Mighty Zod can not accomplish.

Interviewer: Can you work a deep fryer?

Zod: Uh... no.

Interviewer: That's okay. We'll probably start simple with you anyway. Welcome aboard. You are now a proud new employee of Taco Hut. You can start by squeegeeing the windows.

Zod: (dramatic music) Another victory for the All Powerful Zod! All shall bow down before the power of the mighty squeegee! Today Zod shall have control over the windows of this eating establishment... tomorrow Zod shall rule over the entire world!

Interviewer: Oh, one more thing. Can you work weekends?

Zod: Pitiful earth creature! You dare ask a being of infinite power and wisdom to work weekends?! (pause) All right... but no holidays.

Early on in the character development for Zod, we decided that he should have a lowly job at a Taco Hut restaurant. I started the work on Zod's Job Interview not long after I finished up the script for Date Rejects 2. However, I had some trouble coming up with some good questions/answers for the interview so I put it on hold for a while. Later on, I came across some surveys on Open Diary. I decided to fill out one for Zod. It provided the necessary brainstorming I needed to get the bit moving again.